I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
