What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
