i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
