Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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