Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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