who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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