It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
