Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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