Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
