By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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