i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize