You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
