I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
