In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am never drinking with the goths again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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