3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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