i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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