Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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