Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize