Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize