Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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