physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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