i would punch a child for taco bell
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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