My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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