You smell like stripper and shame
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
