all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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