Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
