i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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