I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
