Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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