when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
