look no pants
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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