Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
