don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
