What did we do last night that was yellow?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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