Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
