if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You pole danced in your parka.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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