Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this boner is exhausting
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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