Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
