I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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