i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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