my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
