your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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