Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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