How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
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I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
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it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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