I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
