I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
