Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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