K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
