Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
