I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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