You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
