Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
