The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
