Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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