In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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