God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize