god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
