I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
