I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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