i barfeds in our rink
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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