I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
