U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so explain again why im purple
no
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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