I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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