Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I deserve this hangover.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
