My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
